Last Thursday, I went to Chicago intent on meeting up with a group of amazing girls I've talked to for about a year. Let's face it, we all know that meeting people from the internet, despite sharing common interests with, is always a risky endeavor. Often, you feel like you know someone, you meet them and find out that while the words they type are honest, there are just personality quirks that you can't get past.

I expected it would take a least a day of awkward silences, of a little discomfort before we'd all start warming up to one another. I anticipated drama - ask reality TV: stick any 8 girls in close quarters, and there will be. I tried to prepare myself for the worst, hoping desperately for the best.

What happened was not anything I could have even dreamed. I felt like we all instantly clicked, like we'd all met before and were simply reuniting. In fact, our group grew as the weekend went on, adding people who felt as if they'd been there all along, some of us had never met others even online, and they were immediately accepted as part of the cabal. The amount of truly genuine physical affection - the cuddling on the sofa, the hand holding, having the simple comfort enough to walk up and put your arm around someone came so naturally, and it left a hole in my heart when it was gone.



foxxcub, early morning talks and bathroom mirror sharing are not enough. You're an amazing girl and I miss the way your eyes smile. I seriously adore you.

looneyluna, you make it too easy to love you, I could talk with you for hours. Chicago is magical and we need you like pyros need fire. Oh, and thanks for being my hot date for LBC and babysitting my drunk, booty-shakin' ass.

gobsmackit, Chelle warned me of your awesomeness, but I really had no idea. Your wit and attitude make me want a t-shirt proclaiming you as my hero. ASHLEY MOTHERFUCKING NAMECONCEALEDTOPROTECTTHEAWESOME

txtequilanights, I miss your "Aww, baby!" and the way you cuddle and your enthusiasm and the way you make me laugh with your amazing bitchiness.

imntsaying (aka my island Mina), I need moar of you in my life, and I don't know how that's possible, but I'm all grabby hands at you, baby girl. You make me gleeful.

adellyna, I love your brand of kisses and cuddle sandwiches. You are gorgeous and pretty much like dangerous narcotics for me, I only want you moar. Thanks for not giving me the plague via makeoutz.

wickerrr I secretly kind of adore the way you can fly by the seat of your pants - just deciding to stick around in another state for days without clothes or plans. I'm so glad we stumbled into our friendship many moons ago at the first Empires show. My comfortable house misses you.

prettykitty_aya, you are FIERCE. I wish I'd seen you after the gig, I really wanted to give you a hug for helping get us out of that nightmare of a crowd and hanging out in our sweet little spot off to the side, where we could both see and not die of suffocation. Holla when you're comin back to the city!

fallingfortruth, you made for great company in the EE line, I'm so glad we got to chat. I assume you found a sweet spot in the crowd after we made the mad dash for the bathrooms, but I'll watch for your blue hair in the crowds, because I never know where you're gonna pop up next.

Thank you, all of you, for changing my life, because you did. There's no other way to tell you that, but know that you have, and that you're all so dear to my heart.


The outpouring of love I felt from these girls and also unexpectedly, the personal ACCEPTANCE I felt is something that will stay with me a long time. I hope we find a way to do it again or even regularly, I know how much we all looked forward to this one and we girls need happy bonding stuff like this in our lives.

I miss all of your faces, all of your voices. Sitting in Chelle's living room without all of your chatter could easily bring me to tears the next time I go, I'm not going to lie.

Unrelated: Seriously, we heard the Saturday HCT date had a mosh pit for Medicine Man? What the actual fuck? All I can figure is someone let the middle schoolers out of the house without snack time and they JUST WENT CRAZY. Just more evidence that kids NEED structure.