Last Thursday, I went to Chicago intent on meeting up with a group of amazing girls I've talked to for about a year. Let's face it, we all know that meeting people from the internet, despite sharing common interests with, is always a risky endeavor. Often, you feel like you know someone, you meet them and find out that while the words they type are honest, there are just personality quirks that you can't get past.

I expected it would take a least a day of awkward silences, of a little discomfort before we'd all start warming up to one another. I anticipated drama - ask reality TV: stick any 8 girls in close quarters, and there will be. I tried to prepare myself for the worst, hoping desperately for the best.

What happened was not anything I could have even dreamed. I felt like we all instantly clicked, like we'd all met before and were simply reuniting. In fact, our group grew as the weekend went on, adding people who felt as if they'd been there all along, some of us had never met others even online, and they were immediately accepted as part of the cabal. The amount of truly genuine physical affection - the cuddling on the sofa, the hand holding, having the simple comfort enough to walk up and put your arm around someone came so naturally, and it left a hole in my heart when it was gone.

( for all those girls. it's taken me a week to write because of the PAIN. )

The outpouring of love I felt from these girls and also unexpectedly, the personal ACCEPTANCE I felt is something that will stay with me a long time. I hope we find a way to do it again or even regularly, I know how much we all looked forward to this one and we girls need happy bonding stuff like this in our lives.

I miss all of your faces, all of your voices. Sitting in Chelle's living room without all of your chatter could easily bring me to tears the next time I go, I'm not going to lie.

Unrelated: Seriously, we heard the Saturday HCT date had a mosh pit for Medicine Man? What the actual fuck? All I can figure is someone let the middle schoolers out of the house without snack time and they JUST WENT CRAZY. Just more evidence that kids NEED structure.