So you've all been getting by with the occasional Twitter update while I'm out there living and not updating this thing. 

Here's what's happening, in case you missed the headlines:

* I'm unemployed. Stupid economy. Do you need a fun marketing chick w social media experience? Holla.
* My dad has been in and out of the hospital over the past month. We hope he's all patched up, this time, mom picked him up this morning, so he's resting at home.
* Trev's company got bought. Again. That means he's been passed to 2 different companies now without ever having left voluntarily, in 5 years. Sign of the times, I guess. There's always a little good and a little bad, but mostly, he's just happy to be employed.
* Molly is over 3 and a half, now. She's precious and amazing and makes every day more awesome.
* I took Trev's little sis to her first concert, this month: Fall Out Boy, Cobra Starship, Hey Monday and some other bands. One of those other bands, All Time Low, was appropriately named. We photographed some girls with Alex before they performed - he's lucky I saw him in person before they stood on stage and told all the girls to get naked and that they wanted to feel them up. You're real fucking smooth, douchebags.
* Found out that a social networking site of google's, Orkut, is being used for child porn communities, and that Flickr - where I keep a lot of Molly's photos, is trolled daily for pictures of children to set up fake profiles for.  I've had actual requests from these dirtbags to use Molly's picture on these sites and obviously I refused it, but I'm concerned now that there are plenty of others who have not asked. I'm trying to sort out how to find any pictures of her that might be in use and get them removed.
* I still love Trevor, my BFF, my bros and my D90, as if there was any doubt.
* Trev and I are going to sign our will today and put in writing that Chelle's sis gets Molly if we kick it early, Chelle gets all my pampered chef stuff, Kayla gets my camera, and don't wanna be vegetables. Oh, and if Trev and I are hanging out in a coma, Chelle does all my thinking for me. Maybe she can finally make me cool.

And in other news, a guy called me today about a bad check THAT I ACTUALLY DID NOT WRITE. Apparently there's a J-Ho in Plymouth who has picked up that habit and the dude tracked me down instead.  I'm so glad I'm past those days.

Today after the testamenting, I'm driving to Chicago to see a band and some bros. Tomorrow Trev's best childhood friend (and best maid) gets hitched, Sunday my Dad's makin us some Frankburgers and we're going for a boat ride, and Monday, well. Monday is a goddamned holiday and I'm not doing a fucking thing and Trev's doin it with me. Fuck yeah.

so there's a list out there of things I want to do before  i die i'm 30, and when i think about that list, i think about things that i haven't done, and the things that i have done that i miss. i might do a series on it, but as we may know, i have some trouble with commitment these days. (such as: some days I use capitals. some days not.)

today i was reminded of something i used to love that i haven't done in forever: use a darkroom.

don't get me wrong, i love my digital camera - oh i do, i do. i love how efficient it is, how immediately gratifying it is.

but there's a little mystery to be appreciated in using regular film, and in developing pictures yourself. 

so, you take a few more shots that you might normally just to make sure you got it right. you stand in the dark - a black dark that i haven't seen since - and trust your hands to do what they're supposed to. 

the waiting. the peacefulness in it. there's music and even dancing in the dark as it were, but you're forced to wait with your thoughts and all the anticipation, all wrapped up together in a little tiny metal canister and the sound of water.

watching images appear on paper like magic, like something out of childhood. the smell of chemicals - they give me migraines but i never wanted to leave the darkroom, even then. 

god, the last time i went in a darkroom, i never thought it would be the end, i never did.

i keep talking about buying a mac or that or going to vegas but what i really need to do is pick up my camera, buy some film, and just fall in love again.